Here's a piece I found on the general characteristics of Scandinavians. And though I couldn't disagree more on the subject of Danes, I found it, ah, quite apt.

The most characteristic quality of Norwegians is their inclination to talk to sheep. Sheep, being naturally daft, rarely respond. Yet the stubborn Norwegian will answer for the animal, and the ensuing one-sided conversation can go on for up to an hour or more. This is really uncool when you're trying to have a picnic overlooking the fjord.

Danes don't speak to livestock, they kill them, and set about eating every conceivable part of the beast imaginable. There is never anything left over at a Danish table, and if there is it's usually finished at breakfast--eel, liver, stuffed goose, you name it. In Norway, since breakfast as well as lunch is usually the same old salted cod, Norwegians prefer to spend the day outdoors on their cross country skis practicing for Olympic gold medals. Danes never win medals.

Swedes, too, eat very little but for very different reasons. They're generally so stressed out about the profound meaning of life that they are never able to build an appetite. Their limited intake of food, however, is largely compensated by the vast amounts of alcohol they will consume on a Saturday night. When wandering the streets stone drunk, a Swede will try to imitate a Norwegian by chatting up a parking meter.

Danes are great lovers. They will do it from any position imaginable. Trouble is they never manage to culminate the act due to untimely urges for pickled herring. For their part, Norwegians know only one position, but they keep forgetting it. Which is probably why they talk to sheep and why all their women are working for the U.N. in Uganda. Swedes? Who cares. The main thing is to keep them talking to the parking meter so that they never find their car.

( Here be dragons )