Andreas Høvik ([info]hypes) wrote,
@ 2005-07-02 04:33:00
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Current mood:sleepy
Current music:The Killers - All these things I've done

Mirrors and planes
Standing in front of the mirror, I wonder if I know this person I see. The person that is so much different from the pictures taken when he left everything he'd known behind for a crazy adventure across the pond. First I think, no, I have no idea who this person is; but then I realise, I know myself better now than I ever have, as a person who has survived his gauntlet, and his trial by fire. I say without pride (of which I had an abundance, but to no good) but rather with a complacency that intermingles periodically with either happiness or sadness for the beginning and the end that this poses, respectively. I don't think I've come to realise anything so important as the fact that I can change myself, change the person I see in the mirror, and the person that appears to others. In most ways, I think, I have not changed, I've simply revealed. Maybe change isn't possible, only different configurations. As Joanna and I have figured out, in the end, we're all the same, just different.

To digress, I've met a few people that I've found to be wonderfully compatible with my way of mind, but I can only think of one that in so little time has challenged me so much and even made me smile while fumbling for whatever point I was trying to make. It's a lovely thing, but one which I leave behind.

I'm leaving behind a lot of things - in fact, I'm leaving behind so much more than I ever had before this adventure begun: friends and experiences, good and bad but which I will have to try to cherish equally because they are of equal importance, in the end.

I haven't written an entry like this in a long time - one that's only purpose is to fill up the empty hours that form the early hours of the morning while all sensible persons get their sleep and I keep my pointless vigil. I always do, before I go. I have yet to have a full night's worth of sleep before endeavouring to far-off airports.

A few hours of sleep beckon. See you when I'm home.




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[info]kn1ght_errant
2005-09-18 06:38 pm UTC (link)
Well mate,
I can understand how you felt, I have a few things to add though...
First thing's first. You can't really change yourself, but you can put emphasis on certain traits you have, and fade others that are more negative. It is as the Tao teaches, you can chose where to put the stress, you can't however make a dolphin out of a cheetah, nor a cheetah out of a dolphin. Both are in a way equal, but have their strengths in other fields. As you said, we are all the same, we all need to eat, to love, to procreate... we just go about it differently, that's why people should chose to be more tollerant and understanding.

You'll always have the memory of those people you met over there mate. But you know as well as I do, that staying there would close options here, as coming home closes options there. In the end it is all the same, aslong as you are able to enjoy the journey, who cares where the path leads, in your heart, you already know... that is, if you play your cards well.

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[info]kn1ght_errant
2005-09-18 06:40 pm UTC (link)
And by the way, when you keep your lonely vigil, check for me online, I'm not often at night, since most of the time, I'm either out or in my bed. But atleast I can say, if I'm at home, I'm keeping a similar vigil, and I'm always willing to listen.

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