Here comes another year, this one frighteningly without apparent structure. I am in a black hole in the system, in limbo between public duty and intellectual advancement, looking backwards and stumbling forwards. It's not a very comforting place to be, because the success of this year relies too much on my own very self to for comfort. Well, that is not entirely true, there is a certain attraction to it. But humanity fears the unknown (often to the extent of refusing any efforts to rectify this, unfortunately), and I am loath to say I am usually not an exception in this matter - it's a hardwired thing, I think. There is however a certain attraction to this predicament - a proving grounds of sorts, where my adversary is none other than the fear of failure (with a healthy dose of laziness thrown in for good measure). This is indeed a bit of a paradox, the thing most likely to lead to crashing and burning is the fear of doing just that. I am set to make my own future, but the fucking thing's a slippery bastard.

It'll be an interesting thing to see; how all this works out in the end.